Wednesday, April 12, 2006

City Life and the Rollerblading Culture

There are few mental, physical, and emotional exercises one can perform to prepare oneself for a city. I have been in Minneapolis for one day and I am mentally drained (examples to follow), physically wrecked (a run around Harriet dodging humans), and emotionally freaked out (examples top follow). This introduction is not meant to deter anyone from visiting or driving through a city, just a warming never to move to one.

Time 10AM
Time for a run on the beautiful Minnehaha Parkway wonderful warm, sunny day. Within the first few minutes of my run I notice my first of many rollerblading. Rollerblading in it self is not funny, but 97.75% of the time those individuals rollerblading are rather different, let me rephrase, funny. The first individual I saw had on a very tight tank top with shorts wedged up his ass, funny yes. The next individual I saw had on a tight tank top, tight shorts, HUGE headphones, and one of those very small ankle biting dogs, funny. Both of these individuals were men...Take it from there. The final subject was a female, she had on rollerblading, but was not rollerblading. She (we will call her MooMoo) was sitting in the middle of the fucking bike path doing nothing. At first I thought she fell, but as I got closer I noticed she did was not scraped or had any signs of a fall. She was simply sitting in the middle of a insane thourfare around Lake Harriet. I'm surprised MooMoo did not cause pile up, maybe she did and I missed it that is not funny. that requires a sad face :(

Kwolskies (sp?) supermarket. I had the bright idea of making Thai food (which went well), but the process of getting the ingredients was physically draining. Driving in a city sucks.
1. I'm not a good driver
2. Every one else sucks at driving, by my own account.
3. Hip Hop music blaring sucks
4. No turn on red lights suck
5. Finding a parking spot may get you killed (shot by "stealing a spot"), or (getting into an accident by how fucking fast everyone drives)
6. This is mentally messing me up because I should not care about this crap.

next point. As described earlier it was a warm day in Minneapolis and when I went to the store I had my dog ;in the car. It was too warm to leave her in the car so I tied her up in the shade by a bike rack. When I came out of the overall friendly (you know those places that try to be so friendly it's uncomfortable?) Hi welcome, hi do you need help, are you sure you don't need help, Sir. May I carry your bags, blah, blah, over the top, too much. After leaving the store with the final "have a wonderful day" I go out (15min) to my dog to find that some passer by has left her a Dixie cup of water that even if she was able to get her fat tongue in it would immediately spill. Now, this was a nice gesture however did they do it out of thoughtfulness or "that thoughtless prick left his dog without water" remember I am in city am passing judgment, but that individual was too, I think.

I actually saw a basset hound run at about half speed into a stroller coming in the opposite direction. The women who was running with the dog had the audacity to say stupid dog, stupid dog? Stupid fucking lady for running her dog into a baby stroller. Baby's mom was pissed, If I were the stroller I would be pissed, actually I was pissed, and Stephanie almost pissed her pants. Enough.

Next point of interest.
A gay couple was walking their 2 shanuszer (sp?)and had a yellowlab inside a radio flyer wagon. This was funny and disturbing. I was wondering why the shanuszers (sp? brutal I know) were not in the wagon and the yellow lab was not out charging around. This is going to bug me for a while. Emotionally that is.



At 1:18 PM, Blogger Patrick said...

True, so true.


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